i juz saw a poetry from the web , it's from ambrosia1 : very emotionally provocative, n i feel for it too.I'm juz gonna paste it here in one chunk.
Tapestry
What is with this world?What is with its people?Who are we to say, who livesWho dies?We take too much upon ourselvesWe take too much into our homesInto our livesWe should simplifyIs it always the sameWhen we find someone we trulyFall in love withAnd we don't know if theyLove us too?We are afraidWhat if we all knewWhat others' thoughts were?Would the world get better?Or would it get worse?When the one we love Turns from usIgnores usWhere are we to go?Who are we to turn to?We wonderWhat can we do toMake them understand?When we are wrongedDoes it make it rightTo hurt the person back?Or should we just go alongLiving our livesCovering up the things inside?It hurts to be aloneMore, when we knowThat we are deliberately left aloneSo what are we to do?What are we to do?

cheng posted at 12/31/2004 01:24:00 am.

feeling great! i was able to catch up wif my ensemble todae for the bass concerto. Haa.. todae recording i was able to play 99.9% of the notes yea!! however todae my arms n legs were threatening to break down. I guess it was because mi n my best friend swam close to 30 laps yesterdae, at bukit batok swimming complex. N oh ya ! BB swimming complex was a blast after it has been renovated! I was impressed by the design of the changing rooms, especially. Felt great, N ya , for those who noe tat i'm a gamer, I'm playing Xiah Online now . It's an addictive game.

cheng posted at 12/30/2004 10:29:00 pm.

sometimes i think too much . sometimes i act ignorant. children are always so blissful when they dunno anithing;they give a smile,, sometimes laugh n onli cries when they r bothered about something.U give something to them, perhaps a cute balloon , they step out of their shyness to "hi-five" into ur big hands. I act like a child . maybe. adult matters doesn't interest mi the least. Maybe onli the mundune stuff. like the kids on their meals. I've been bullied before, by a gal in my jc time. Due to a misunderstanding. well, it was more of a verbal abuse. juz one-sided. I din reply , juz apologise everytime she attacked mi. Wat's the point of replying ? To egg her on ? To defend my reputation ? Nah . In the end it was all of my teammates plus my teacher who scolds her for mi. Cause n effect. In the end , the truth ultimately wins. My teacher pulls mi aside n ask mi - y did i choose not to retaliate? She thinks tat i shld. in real world . Yea . Maybe I will . When my ricebowl is at stake, i will. I always try to be a forgiving person . I felt onli pity for the person who bullied mi. Is she driven by circumstances ? Is her family too cold towards her? No matter how hard i try , i find that i can't forgive her now. The pain is there in my heart. I can onli accept her as an aquaintance. oh well . there goes another vent on my frustrations n broken english .

cheng posted at 12/28/2004 01:19:00 pm.

sigh .. the release of my results are here . it's quite bad .. lower den my expectations .especially st1131. sigh .SIGH.

AR1221
IDEAS OF & APPROACHES TO ARCHITECTURE
B-

BU1480
BUILDING TECHNOLOGY
A

GEK2507
Computational Methods for Basic Finance
B-

RE1180
URBAN LAND USE AND DEVELOPMENT
B+

ST1131
INTRODUCTION TO STATISTICS
B+

CAP: 3.8

cheng posted at 12/26/2004 11:57:00 am.

somehow christmas is very different w/o my grandma around .. now , instead of the usual gathering tat we once had , todae was nothing . very very silent christmas. no laughter, no idle tok . juz a normal dae passed by .wif money around , everything changes .. ppl now go for material status n steady partners .. but mi ? ha. i'll happy wif a very loving bf , patrick , a loving family n a nice home. i miss all the past christmas gatherings . todae seemed so strained. luckily , my best friend , leepeng dropped over to say hi n pass me some gifts she brought for christmas.. woa .. alot lei .. very paiseh to accept all those gifts.. i gave her a gift package i got from bodyshop for her belated birthdae cum christmas gift. last night , i attended my friend wedding .. den i went for my ex company's christmas party.. most of them can't recognize me cos they say i look lots prettier n thinner plus more mature cos i applied some makeup to my face. haa.. was treated like a celebrity there .merry christmas to u all. Santa Claus , pls make my next christmas a better one den todae .. plus better results for my 1st sem coming out tomorrow..

cheng posted at 12/25/2004 11:46:00 pm.

i bought a T shirt for my darling in cathay cineleisure as an x mas gift!! is a very expensive gift- close to 70 bucks. hopes he like it n will wear it.it will go well wif his jeans . got some clothes for myself too. black nightdress for special occasions , bareback shirt n a dress for next new yr . nearly bought a nice bluish sling bag too. wif laptop compartment. But haha ... no $$$$ ,walked away sadly.

cheng posted at 12/22/2004 11:46:00 pm.

ok .. camp is over ..home sweet home ..
but seriously , this camp is one of the most bestest n most memorable camp i have been through. for one , our organization for the christmas party is a success.. each of the seniors had smiles on their faces.. for another , i have learned a lot about guitar through this camp n was able to hone my guitar playing skills as well as the pieces for the concert especially. N a lot from my seniors too .. n Supper at Fong Sing cheeze prata coffeeshop was GREAT.IT is near the NUS kent ridge terminal the bunch of coffeeshops tat side... N also , In this camp, a lot of emotional feelings ran through the members... ppl cried , sad, laugh, n lots of other moods came up too(including mi).. especially when our conductor pick on many of the members - the so called " isolation " to see who is playing out of the beat. For mi, my thumb is positioned wrongly n i din play loud enuff.. i really cried on the second dae cos cannot meet standard. But on the concert dae, he praised mi for nice wacking(yea literally wacking) on the bass notes for the sound to travel from one end of the orchestra to another end wif the rest of the bass not playing n altos n primes playing. My heart was literally in my mouth cos i haf a feeling tat the strings r at their breaking point. In the christmas party , mi n jinxi sang the solo part for the intro .. haha tat time we practised wif the solo guitarists siyang, yong kiat n jai with continuously laughing n making weird noises.. so fun. The best part was the x mas tree n the watermelon game.. ppl got saboed to become to x mas tree looking like very weird greenish trees n also the squashing n squashing n squashing of the watermelon by their butts .. so hilarious... The angel mortal game -My angel ,lam bought my crackers n drew lots of cool n cute drawings.. everyone was admiring his skills . den also my mortal brought mi a box of hershley kisses .yum. the song Daren , my section leader in the master class played was nice ... i got the scores from him liao .. n some other songs .. n some other stuff finger exercise my conductor ask us to practise on .. haha the sabo stuff was the nicest. n the most laughable.. aiyo got so many things i muz write .. but i muz sign off now .

cheng posted at 12/20/2004 01:18:00 pm.

scared .. can't believe i'm scared of a five dae four nITE genus camp .. arghh .. muz be the seniors try to infuse scary stories from past yrs into us . but seriously .. i feel nervous too becos of the buddhist exam .. i read it like twicw .. still got nagging feeling in my heart .. den somemore i thinking whether to see the doc to get mc for excuse out of the games a not .. but i tink no need la .. tell the seniors they'll understand .But somehow .. i feel very uneasy now.. even though i packed my camp bag already but it starts on wed..
Drats . I hate being scared.

cheng posted at 12/13/2004 11:47:00 pm.

all i want for christmas is -

1)a body shop oceanus body lotion ( got it already from my tamer)
2)an Ipod mini or zen touch also can
3)nice clothings
4)for my mummy n daddi to say yes to mi traveling overseas w/o them
5) lots of teddy bears
6)my friends n family to share wif mi the spirit of christmas!!! =))

cheng posted at 12/11/2004 11:50:00 pm.

been feeling unwell recently , while struggling to understand the elementary buddhist studies , did some downloading of games , songs n practised my guitar well.. these few daes .. time seems to fly so quickly ...hai~

cheng posted at 12/08/2004 04:56:00 pm.

daddi bought mi a pair of sandals todae for me to wear at the chalet tomorrow !! =)) todae there was sun n there was rain .. so nice !! i saw a lot of places in singapore tat i nv seen b4, in my dad's car n this evokes some kind of memories .. some sad , some lingering tots i can't place a finger on .. hmm.... muz have been thinking too much lately ..
nowadaes my health's failing mi .. wanna experience the deep blue sea,go sailing, go diving or someting lik tat, but my lungs kena attacked a lot of times .. very pain ..the difficulty to breathe when my attack comes is always awful .. i have been struggling juz to survive ..it's lucky i have a strong determination to live . Everydae i wake up , i'll try to spend it as well as possible ... i'll nv noe when i can't find the will to breathe on wif my lungs lik tat ...damn the acute bronchitis .. i hate it .

cheng posted at 12/01/2004 05:19:00 pm.